Stay In Your Lane

I adopted the mantra “stay in my lane” a few years ago. It was during a time that everything seemed to be very out of control in the world and social media was only fueling the fire (you know, that one time). It was hard and I was mentally overwhelmed. If you have been around me during Bible study, you have more than likely heard me say this. I felt in my soul that God was telling me to stop focusing on what everyone else was doing, but to focus on what He had given me to oversee. So, here I am, years later repeating to myself every time I can’t believe what others are doing to just stay in my lane. As time has gone by, I have adopted this way of thinking into every aspect of my life. It is so easy in the world of social media and constant access to other people’s lives that we can think we should be doing what they are doing. There are a lot of ways we can talk about this, but they way I have been feeling it most lately is in the world of fitness.

I am sure it is my algorithms, but I have a lot of reels on my Instagram regarding fitness, nutrition, and health. Man oh man, there is a LOT of information out there, and everything seems to contradict each other. Don’t do cardio, just lift weights. You can’t just lift weights, you need to run. Don’t run you need to walk on a treadmill at a incline that makes you feel like you’re hiking a mountain. That’s not going to work, you have to lift hundreds of pounds of weights or you will never be fit. It’s a lot.

I have spent most of my adult life, and part of my high school life very obsessed with fitness. As fitness trends come and go, one thing is constant: what works for her probably won’t work for you, and if it does, it needs to be tailored to your needs. Just a quick scroll tells you that there are incredibly fit people doing incredibly different things. Why is that? Because fitness is not one size fits all. If it were, we would all be our perfect level of fit and no one would struggle. When are we going to learn to stop following people who claim to have all of the answers. Yes, there are ways of eating to lose weight, but if you aren’t going to follow the rules or they make you miserable, what is the point? I know wonderful people who are perfectly content never eating dairy or wheat or drinking alcohol. That is great for them. I am not those people so, when I try to eat like that I can usually make it a week or two and then I find myself in a pile of cheese and wine and bread and mentally feeling like a failure. It’s not about discipline. Don’t let people tell you that. Could I be more disciplined? Sure, but I only get one shot at this life, and if drinking a glass of wine with my husband over a heaping pile of pasta gives me pleasure, then I am going to do it. Moderation has been essential for me. Finding that time and place and adding in imperfections in my eating has allowed me to be more disciplined when I need to be; however, perfection in my weight, while it is good when it happens, is not my reason for living. (Please note, if your body cannot tolerate certain foods, I get it. I am not talking about that. I am talking about deprivation for the sake of weight loss.)

In 2020 the world shut down along with my Crossfit gym. I was panicked. I had done Crossfit religiously for 10 years and I was scared to death. Even though the last two years doing it had been full of pain, weight gain, and mental distress. I am not hating on Crossfit. I loved it for 10 years. I have many friends my age or older that continue to do it. I am speaking personally. When I was forced to walk away from it, I found a new way of doing things. Workouts that fit my schedule, my joy, and my level of fitness I was desiring. I personally began to shift my way of thinking from lifting as much weight as I can to focusing on longevity and peace. I began to do things that addressed my specific needs, like running and walking. I hated running for a while, but because I have a family history of heart disease, I need to take care of my cardiovascular health. Also, because I had spent 10 years building muscle mass, I could take a maintenance approach and continue to cultivate muscle growth without intensity that was growing more difficult on my 40 plus year old body. I had to take a step back and focus on what was best for me. Not what culture or Instagram told me was best, but how I felt not only about my appearance, but how I felt internally.

Here is the thing, if I wanted to be a fitness influence at 44 almost 45 years old, I could hop on social media in my current state and show you want I do in a week and you would think that I have the right answers. I am not saying I am perfectly lean and have the ideal body, I don’t. What I do have is muscle definition from years of lifting and really good lighting in my house. Anyway, I could post videos of what I do and you could follow along. Some of you might even lose weight and gain muscle, but is it the right way to do it? Probably not. Is it the only way to do it? Absolutely not. There are many of tried and true methods to losing weight and building muscle, all of which require an eating plan you enjoy and an exercise plan you will do. That’s it. That is the secret. I saw a post the other day titled “What I ate to lose 50 lbs in 6 months” and then showed 5 meals. I have a feeling she ate more than just those 5 meals in 6 months. People are giving us a snapshot and we think it’s gospel. Try those recipes if you want, but know there was more to what these people are showing us. I have found the combinations of proteins and vegetables I like to eat, so I eat them. If there is something healthy you like, eat it. If you don’t like it, don’t eat it. You like to do Barre workouts, do them. You don’t like running, don’t do it.

We have a way of making things way harder than it sounds, and then throw in people with a Tik Tok account talking about cortisol and insulin resistance and we all lose our minds and begin to self diagnose. There are people with actual medical issues, and those need to be address by a professional. If you need Ozempic or Wegovy, great! If that is what works for you, and your doctor recommends it, do it. We have to stop acting like there is only one path to fitness and that there is only one body shape or size to fitness. If you are healthy and happy, don’t worry about how you got there. Life is meant to be enjoyed. Stay in your lane and get there however you can.